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Yes Virginia, There IS an Underwear Gnome!

January 8, 2008

Gabe is definitely the joy of my heart. His greatest goal in life at the moment is to be just like Mama and Daddy, which means that whatever we’re doing, he’s trying to do it too. I can’t put a load of laundry into the dryer without Gabe pulling the socks back out and onto the floor, or walking off with the cover to the lint trap. Likewise, I can’t move a laundry basket from the laundry to the bedroom without Gabe on the other end of it helping me push it along. I can’t cook without Gabe adding a few measuring cups from the mix, and he carefully inspects the floor for any bits of debris, handing me minuscule crumbs every chance he gets. The cutest thing of all is watching Gabe make “kissy-face” back at me, since he looks mostly like a fish trying to chew with it’s mouth shut!

However, all this toddler “help” has come with a notable downside. Having helped me switch laundry, push laundry baskets and fold laundry, he likes to help me put laundry away. Actually, he likes laundry so much that he pulls laundry out so we can do it over and over again. The problem is that the drawer he gets into most often is my underwear drawer, which means that he’ll come into the living room modeling the oddest and most embarrassing fashions I’ve ever seen. Did you know that panties can be worn as hats? Scarves? Socks?

Me neither.

I’ve figured that there are going to be two outcomes to this situation. One, I now have a reasonable excuse to drop a chunk of change at Victoria’s Secret. If my underwear is going to be on display, I want it to be new. Two, we’re likely to provide great entertainment for any visitors in the near future. Below is the way I see a visit to our place advertised:

(Deep, Movie Trailer Voice-Over Style:)

From the baby who brought you the indie classic “Shorts on My Head” comes a new thriller, fresh from the middle dresser drawer! It’s a hat! It’s a scarf! It’s… Underwear Boy! Gabe models the newest trend in toddler mischief – stealing undergarments from his parent’s dresser and leaving them in unexpected (and uncomfortably public) new locations! The thrills! The chills! The joys of parenting! You have to see it to believe it!

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